Rite of Forgiveness and Cheesefare Sunday

We picked a doozy of a day for our first Sunday as catechumens. The children (well, most of them) enjoyed the attention it drew when we stepped forward during the prayers for the catechumens. They weren't sure which way to face (I'll have to tell them when in doubt in the Orthodox church, face an icon - it's bound to be facing east) but once we got all that figured out we managed to move in and out of our places fairly smoothly. Fr. Greg assured me on our way back to our places that we did *not* have to leave but could remain for the rest of the Liturgy. But the real focus of the day was yet to come. There were several things going on, not the least of which was the 1 hour time change which had us getting up earlier already. Also, since we rent space from a school, the school was in need of the room where we meet for Divine Liturgy and all had to be out and packed up by noon. This meant that Matins was canceled, and Divine Liturgy moved to a half hour earlier than usual in order to make room for Forgiveness Vespers and the Rite of Forgiveness.

It seemed to me that we were whipping through the Divine Liturgy. I don't know if Fr. Greg and the choir intentionally moved a bit faster or if the time constraints were weighing on people - or, maybe just maybe the Liturgy no longer seems as long to me - but it seemed like no time at all before the end of Divine Liturgy. We shifted directly into Forgiveness Vespers which is usually said in the evening but, as I said before, we were short on time and space is limited for this church in a box. It was difficult for me and for the kids to shift our focus to this short service since it occurred at a time when we would normally be heading for the bathroom and a snack. They were about half way through it before my mind made the shift and I was able to focus on the service.

Vespers was followed by the Rite of Forgiveness, a wonderful tradition that actually manages to allow time and ceremony for every member of the church to seek and grant forgiveness to every other member of the church. We were instructed to form a line and then stand in front of each person, beginning with Fr. Greg and his family, make the sign of the cross and a metania (sweeping the hand towards the floor in a semi-bow) then ask for the person to forgive any offense committed by you against him in the past year. They (hopefully) offer forgiveness to you and then repeat the process in reverse at which time you grant forgiveness and move on to the next person.

It was a beautiful time. JT and Ben participated reluctantly but made it through just fine. We waffled about whether or not we would require their participation and when it came down to it, I just silently prayed and gently guided them into the line in spite of the looks of desperation they were shooting me. Noah and Nate wandered around until somebody picked them up and carried them from person to person. John Michael and David tried to stick with it but I think the whole thing seemed very odd to them. Ruth was completely traumatized by all the expectations and did little more than stand next to me with "the stare" on her face. Miriam was precious. She stood on the other side of me and asked over and over again with great sincerity "Will you forgive me?" I just can't think of much she could possibly need forgiveness for and she was so full of the Spirit. Philip was the only one who latched on to the entire routine, down to the metanias (which he executed with quite a bit of grace I thought). We had it a bit easy (I hope) since we've only had but a couple of months to offend these people. Since this is done once a year, the ritual was to include any offenses committed over the past year. Many people came to us and asked, instead, to forgive anything over "the past two months", or "since the short time you've been with us". One friendly man used it as a learning opportunity to teach the kids to cross themselves like Orthodox instead of Romans (push, not pull). Unfortunately I think that got a bit confusing since most of them were confused anyway and he was facing them, so getting them to do his opposite was a losing battle. It seemed like such an intimate family time and I was so blessed that our family was included.

This also marked Cheese Fare Sunday and the last day to consume dairy before the Great Lent fast began today. Unfortunately, as a church we didn't celebrate Cheese Fare as we had Meat Fare - with a great feasting upon the impending forbidden foods - so we had our own celebration that evening, wiping out the remainder of our supply of Breyer's ice cream. I'm not too sure with what we'll replace it during Great Lent, maybe fruit salad.

Bible Study

After months of trying I finally made it to a bible study the other evening. The first time I went it had been canceled and we weren't on the notification list (that has since been fixed). Then we all got sick and then it was Tad's turn to try and then...and then...and then...our life seems to be filled with and then's. So finally I was able to go. Even at that, there were enough "and then's" to make me about 1/2 hour late but, well, it is an Orthodox bible study...I didn't miss that much I don't think. There were five other people sitting around the dining room table with our brand spankin' new Orthodox Study Bibles. One of the five was our hostess' grandmother who only spoke Ukrainian but had a wonderful, warm smile and wasn't happy until she had refilled my glass with water. At one point she was consulted in Ukrainian about an old Ukrainian proverb that Fr. Greg remembered but she didn't quite get the gist and shared a sung prayer about her guardian angel instead. I was just glad someone could speak with her and understand. I really love being in an ethnic community when their ethnic is showing. It made me slightly wistful (again) to think of my own PA Dutch heritage passing slowly away.

Now I've been to..I don't know...a gobzillion bible studies in my life. But this one had me stymied. Everything about Orthodoxy is so different from anything I've encountered in the church before that I figured my insights on the book of Galatians would be a bit off the mark. So I kept my mouth shut...until I was asked to read, that is. Now at that point I was a a bit stuck. The Orthodox prefer to chant the readings during Divine Liturgy with as even a tone as possible so as to keep the reader from relaying his own interpretation of the scripture. But what about in a bible study? Normally I would gather up all my lectoring and dramatic reading experience and give the listeners a nice flow of verbiage and inflection to chew upon. But what do I do now? I chose to tone it a down a bit but just was not able bring myself to read it in any kind of flat manner. I'm sure I'm the only one who noticed and cared but it brought home to me just one more little aspect of Orthodoxy.

Then we came to the end of the book of Galatians and the end of the evening's study. Fr. Greg announced, "Let us pray" and everyone stood up. They proceeded to chat for a few more minutes and I thought perhaps I had heard him wrong - maybe there wouldn't be a closing prayer after all - until suddenly everyone turned around and looked, I thought, at me. Now this was an interesting turn of events. I stood there awkwardly for a moment until it occurred to me that maybe it was the old everyone's-actually-looking-past- me-at-something-else trick. So I also turned to see the family's icon corner toward which all were facing in order to face East to pray. Aha! I mumbled along as best as I could all the prayers that are beginning to sound familiar and feel more like home. It was a good evening but next time I think I'd like to bring Tad along. It's good to have someone else feeling just as awkward and new alongside me.

The Catechumen Journey Begins

Well, we did it. We told Fr. Greg we are ready to become catechumens....big sigh.... I think I almost saw him do a jig step on his way out our front door. I suppose this will now involve various catechism sessions for us and for JT and Ben as well. This preparation will lead up to our chrismation as a family.

We're ok with the first part of the liturgy having to do with the catechumens. Each Sunday we will now be asked to step forward after the readings and the homily and the prayers for the deceased. I'm excited to have the prayers of the people as we go through this process and I like the idea of bowing our heads and praying... It's the next part that gets a bit iffy. When the priest begins to chant

Priest:

All ye catechumens, depart! Depart, ye catechumens! All ye that are catechumens, depart! Let no catechumens remain! But let us who are of the faithful, again and again, in peace pray to the Lord.

Fr. Greg assured us we won't have to make a hasty exit into the parking lot not to return again until the following Sunday whence we can once again stay in the worship until we bow our heads and submit to the prayers of the congregation. This part of the liturgy was intended for the completely uninitiated, unbaptized folk but it has been the butt of many a private joke between Tad and me and probably the one thing that has kept us the most humble as we contemplate taking this step. I'll admit anytime the subject has come up one of us will erupt into a loud chanting of our own rendition ,"Catechumens must leave now! All catechumens will leave and not stay for another minute! There will be no catechumens remaining and we will chant this until all catechumens have left the room! Let there be not one catechumen remaining hiding under chairs or kissing the icons! There goes one now! Pursue the catechumen into the parking lot! In peace pray to the Lord!"

The Resurrection of Christ

I love this icon. There is a writing of it in the Orthodox study bible that I love even more than this rendering but the basic idea is the same. Honestly, I've never understood the crucifixion quite as well as I'm beginning to grasp it from the EO perspective. I love how this icon makes Jesus almost look like a Super Hero. In the rendering in the study bible, Jesus' robe is bit more fluid and his legs more sprawling over the chasm of hell - give him a cape and he looks like he could just fly off to anywhere he wants. Also in that rendering, Satan is deeper down in the pit and bound quite tightly - not so mobile as this depiction. That makes me think of the final scene of every episode of Scooby Doo I've ever seen which has the villain sprawled on the ground tied and gagged by the gang of do-gooders. Then they pull off the mask and say "Aha! We knew it was you all along!" This icon makes me think of that moment. Jesus has just pulled the mask off of Satan and is announcing, "See! He's the bad guy! I've saved you from him!" He's surrounded by his supporting cast of Old Testament heroes and saints who are now free to dwell in the Heavenly Kingdom with him. He has Adam and Eve by the wrists, pulling them out once and for all from the Chasm of Sin.

I've spent years trying to relate to the Stations of the Cross. I just can't glean a whole lot of anything out of that in spite of a lot of years of trying. But a few moments spent meditating on this icon and I get it...Jesus is my Super Hero. He's rescued me from the pit. His powers are above all else. Yes, in this life there is suffering and tribulation but just this once I want to try to think more like a swooning and helpless Lois Lane flying along in the rescuing hands of a caped hero....

What a Hoot!

Philip has been playing basketball with the "Discovery League" for about the past year. Since he plays with our (practically) neighbor friend Michael we had gotten into the habit of having him picked up and transported to his practices by Mike's parents. So it's been a while since I'd been to the little gym at the local elementary school but since Mike is just playing on Wednesday nights now, I had to take Philip myself.

We walked into the school where we noticed Melvin, a 20 something year old man staring out the window waiting for...well, he just seemed to be waiting and watching...for something. Once through the door we were immediately greeted by Mary, a very friendly older teen with some yellowish-black goo stuck to her front teeth who latched on to me immediately.

Oh hi. I don't know you. Do you ever come here?

Yes, I'm Philip's mom. He usually comes with Michael.

Oh. Yeah. Is that your son?

Yes, that's my son Philip.

Oh! (she touches my belly) You're having a baby! I like babies! When will you be having the baby?

The baby's due in June.

Oh! Is it a boy or a girl?

It's a girl.

Philip, you're going to have a baby girl!

I sit down - Mary sits down so close to me her left thigh is practically in my lap.

I like basketball. I've been coming here but we couldn't come here for a while. It's been a long time. The coach said we can't come when the school is closed. The school has been closed. So we can't come when the school is closed. My mom explained that to me. Did you know that? We can't play basketball when the school is closed. But if we did basketball someplace where it isn't a school we could do basketball because it wouldn't be closed like a school. It's just because we play basketball in a school.

It went on like this for several more minutes while Heather, another late teenish young lady with down syndrome called out to Melvin from time to time

Melvin, stay here! Don't go anywhere Melvin.

I don't think Melvin was planning to move.

Finally 7:00 rolled around, the little Discovery Team kids wandered out of the gym, the coach arrived and Philip and his friends were free to shoot some hoops. Phlip was the first one on the court, zigging and zagging with a zeal obviously intended to receive some attention. It didn't gain much attention. The coach's son was too busy bouncing the basketball off his knee and his head in front of one of the moms who clapped appreciatively which was acknowledged by the performer with a deep bow and a high five.

Meanwhile another mom was cheering loudly for her son who seemed to have some proprioceptive issues. He would make an attempt at a shot, then stagger across the court to retrieve the ball. He actually managed 4 baskets in a row - apparently an unprecedented feat for him - each of which were met with enthusiastic whoops from his mom.

Another 20 year old entered the gym and was tossed a practice ball. His processing time was a bit slow so it took him a full minute, about 5 random vocalizations and a series of cryptic hand gestures to realize that he had a ball in hand and should maybe do something with it. He licked it then carried it to the other side of the court.

They spent the first half of the session in practice and then played a scrimmage for the last half. Philip got to be on the team without the annoying yellow pinnies (watching these poor folks try to navigate four random holes, a head, two arms and a waist is almost physically painful). He's definitely the fastest one on the court which is probably the fuel for his NBA aspirations. Fortunately, the coach has been doing this a long time and understands the unique dynamics in Discovery League Basketball. He's made up some of his own rules - like the one that says you have to pass the ball 4 times before you shoot. And usually you have to pass the ball to the person assigned to you by the coach. Then there's the no blocking rule. Philip prides himself in his ability to knock the ball out of other players' hands - I guess he hasn't caught on to that rule yet. Traveling is a non-rule. Following that one requires far more coordination than any of the players can handle. And shooting a basket is a Big Deal. Plenty of time is always allowed for all the players and each and every shot is met with appropriate cheers or consolations from the parents on the sidelines. I don't think there's a limit to the number of attempts allowed at scoring a basket. Philip usually makes it in within the first one or two when he's granted the ball which really does put him in the category of top scorer - even more fuel for his NBA dreams.

I had plumb forgotten how much fun these games are to watch. All the players really give their all and they are so kind to each other. High fives all around follow just about every play whether or not it was a good one. All the parents are happy to relate to all the kids - not just their own. We all understand how valuable that attention is and we all understand when someone else's kid does something completely odd or inappropriate. We are a subset of people who have learned to Take Things In Stride. I'm looking forward to the rest of the season. Discovery Hoops are a real hoot!

Metropolitan KALLISTOS Ware

(Tad noticed a distinct likeness to Obi Wan Kenobi - ya think?)

Tad caught wind of a mini-pre-Lenten retreat going on at the Greek Orthodox cathedral in Baltimore on Saturday. He went ahead and signed us both up once he realized who the speaker would be. He was very excited for the chance to actually hear in person someone whose works he'd read in seminary and which he continued to reference thereafter. Unfortunately, I was exhausted that day and had trouble staying focused but I did very much enjoy our day at the cathedral.

I found myself already thinking like a purist in the midst of the beautiful sanctuary - complete with very Western stained glass windows, a huge pipe organ in the front and...gasp...pews! What is Orthodoxy coming to?! It was, however, neat to see the gorgeous iconostasis and the front wall lined with more traditional icons and candle boxes. And the Great Door made for a grand entrance as it was opened wide and the bishop stepped through.

He is a wonderfully engaging speaker. After all my Anglophobia coming out of the CEC, however, it took me some time to get over his British accent. I was hoping for something a bit more...Eastern European I guess (especially surrounded as we were by some very Greek-looking folks).

He hit on some basic teachings of Orthodox theology of the Holy Spirit. Never once did he mention the word charismatic and yet he described a vibrant, very alive and important aspect of Orthodoxy - and thus, of Jesus. Of course his teaching was upheld by both scripture and plenty of quotes from the church fathers. He had some rather amusing anecdotes to share as well which is what made him particularly fun to hear. My mind is a muddle about the specific teachings - I have a terrible memory for these things - so I'll just have to settle with describing my general impressions of the day.

I don't know how many of these types of things I've been to in my lifetime but this was an Orthodox first for us and we felt a bit out of place. I loved the richness of the ethnicities as several jurisdictions joined together for the event and yet the Antiochian church was represented by some very not-very-Antiochian-looking folks. Since many of them were from Holy Cross I am guessing there were quite a few Western converts in the audience as well. I'm looking forward to continuing along this path. The Orthodox are people just like the Lutherans and Presbyterians and Episcopalians I hung out with throughout my childhood and early adulthood - just people doing church together - and, yet, Orthodoxy adds something slightly different to the mix. The way of thinking ventures down a different path than the ones I've trodden thus far and the ethnic mix gives the whole experience an other-worldly feel. The longer it takes me to unravel this whole experience, the happier I think I'll be. If I never get to the end of it before I die, I will have lived a full life exploring the depths of the faith. There really is no better occupation than that, I suppose.

Praying for Two

I've been trying to incorporate the Jesus Prayer into my daily discipline. I did manage to pray it halfway to PA this morning - even while listening to Narnia on CD and chatting with the kids - apparantly that can be done. Anyway, as I was praying the other morning and trying the whole thing of bringing the prayer ineriorly by praying it to the beat of my heart I realized that I have two hearts beating in my body right now. Well, that's neat I thought. So now the prayer has become Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on us. I am counting on this discipline helping me through another drug-free delivery and I know that this heart connection I am forming with little Pickles will be very powerful motivation throughout labor and delivery. God really does know what He's doing....